Monday, May 25, 2020

RONA Fragment #3: Recasting an Elliot Prelude


Recasting an Elliot Prelude

emerging, swimming up to dark

shake
shake
shake
nothing’s moving
then move
and everything hurts

slowly merge w/body
tentatively roll shoulder, it hurts
then moves
other shoulder same,
though less so
first one leg, then the oth—
oh, right
as sparks shoot
& lightning tears up the thigh

reach for the dim lamp

quarter to three
close enough for the next Percocet
swallow, chase with tepid water
from the coffee mug bedside

toss sheets
& roll back

staring, soul projects itself
onto the ceiling
be those shadows
or the face of a cop
where am I
that the room surrounds me
& what is this movie, this vision

ghostly string quartets
- is the Bluetooth still on? –
abstract frescos
paint themselves around the ceiling fan
dirt browns & steely blue grays
whiffs of fascism & de-evolution
things are getting worse

as shadows pirouette

as my body shrinks back
slowly settling into a dark haze
sparks & lightning in my body fade

film rolls on
I lay back
warm but uneasy
not conscious, not asleep
in gently shifting brown/black stasis
until the sun sketches
the white siding of the house next door
through the louvres of the window

as the line of illumination
renders the top of the triangle stark white
& moves slowly down
slotting the siding as it goes
the awareness comes that,
as the line clears the attic room window
four hours have passed
& my throbbing leg confirms
time for another dose

sit on the edge of the bed
staring at the wall on the other side
of the window
grab the walker
take a piss
move around the house
repossess the body
take another dose
settle back

the movie's over now
the disquiet lives on


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