Recasting an Elliot Prelude
emerging, swimming up to dark
shake
shake
shake
nothing’s moving
then move
and everything hurts
slowly merge w/body
tentatively roll shoulder, it hurts
then moves
other shoulder same,
though less so
first one leg, then the oth—
oh, right
as sparks shoot
& lightning tears up the thigh
reach for the dim lamp
quarter to three
close enough for the next Percocet
swallow, chase with tepid water
from the coffee mug bedside
toss sheets
& roll back
staring, soul projects itself
onto the ceiling
be those shadows
or the face of a cop
where am I
that the room surrounds me
& what is this movie, this vision
ghostly string quartets
- is the Bluetooth still on? –
abstract frescos
paint themselves around the ceiling
fan
dirt browns & steely blue grays
whiffs of fascism & de-evolution
things are getting worse
as shadows pirouette
as my body shrinks back
slowly settling into a dark haze
sparks & lightning in my body
fade
film rolls on
I lay back
warm but uneasy
not conscious, not asleep
in gently shifting brown/black stasis
until the sun sketches
the white siding of the house next
door
through the louvres of the window
as the line of illumination
renders the top of the triangle stark
white
& moves slowly down
slotting the siding as it goes
the awareness comes that,
as the line clears the attic room window
four hours have passed
& my throbbing leg confirms
time for another dose
sit on the edge of the bed
staring at the wall on the other side
of the window
grab the walker
take a piss
move around the house
repossess the body
take another dose
settle back
the movie's over now
the disquiet lives on
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